THOUGH LOVE

I am glad to have some time to write tonight. The weekend was so rough for us and Michelle is not talking to me anymore. I tried guys, I did not pick a fight and I tried to be understanding as heck. She was just being so difficult and I KNOW IT IS NOT HER FAULT. I am not here to vent. Today I am here to be SAD!
I miss my wife so much. I folded her clothes tonight and it made me miss her so so much. I miss seeing her and I miss hearing her voice. I miss seeing her smile and hearing her laugh or making jokes about me. I miss our stupid little fights adn how she drives me crazy. I miss seeing her with the kids and it simply breaks my heart when I my boy asks about her.

Michelle said she did not know if she wanted to see us this weekend and that she is going through a rough time of medicine switching and that I should not take it personally. Easier said then done. I love when we talk and figure stuff out together. I want to be part of her life and I want her to be part of ours.

Sometimes I feel like a single dad. The other day I was talking to a female friend while our kids were playing and it made me feel so uncomfortable. I want to be with my wife. I want her back. Sometimes I just want to shake her and have her come out. I am sorry I am so "honest" tonight, I just need to let these emotions out or I can't function anymore.

I will have to go to work again soon but I don't really know how to do it. I can't be solve all these single dad problems. I don't know how to. Please don't tell me I am so strong. I don't want to hear it. Not tonite.

Why am I being so negative tonite and so helpless. Maybe I just need to go to bed. I think I am coming down with something.

TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! Oh and here is quote that Michelle gave to me 2 weeks ago:

"Today is not the day you quit. Nor is it the day you cry. Today you know that you have all the passion and wisdom to find that quiet center of solace, serenity, and strength necessary to create and sustain an authentic life."

- Sarah Ban Breathnach


Thank you Michelle for giving me this note so I could feel close to you tonite. I miss you so much. I never want to have to live this life without you. I love you. I am yours forever and all eternity.

Dave